Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Blooming


Okay, I apologize that all of my posts seem to have something to do with running or races. I am a mom to three little ones ages 4 (almost 5!) and under. I have little time aside from the times that I run to ponder and think deep thoughts. With that said....

My run last week reminded me of a run I had last year at this time. Flowers and trees are at various stages of blooming right now; some trees are filled with pink and white blossoms while others are still bare. Last year in late March/early April I was just starting to run again after giving birth at the end of January. I was very out of shape and each run was a struggle. This particular day I was nearly in tears and frustrated; frustrated with the hills, frustrated with my jiggly body, frustrated with the struggle, frustrated that I had foolishly signed myself up for races so soon after having a baby so that I HAD to run....frustrated. There was probably some postpartum depression/baby blues going on as well.

I was running up a big hill and tears were stinging the corners of my eyes when I saw a beautiful bush with purple blooms. I looked at the bush and thought, "Why can't I be like that right now?!" Why can't I be back in the shape I once was, with my body less jiggly, my hormones under control...my full self at my very best. I looked at some bushes close by that had buds ready to burst. I then expanded my view, taking in all of the landscape around me. I live in the Evergreen State, so there were majestic trees that had kept their green splendor year-round. There were other trees that had nothing on them yet, but I knew that within a few short weeks they would be filled with new leaves or blossoms; even without their leaves, they still added to the beauty. I found solace in this scene of nature around me. I felt more comfortable with my stage of "blooming" and knew that I needed to love the stage I was in and be patient with myself.

We are like the beauty that surrounds us on earth. We have our seasons, our peaks and valleys, and are at various stages of blooming. Sometimes I feel like the bare tree and know that I need to both be patient and do some work to fill my branches. Sometimes I feel like I am on the verge of being great, much like the lilac tree I can see out my front window as I type this; in a few weeks it will be filled with fragrant purple blossoms. Do you ever feel that way? Like there is greatness and goodness inside of you just waiting for its time or opportunity? Sometimes I feel like the gorgeous cherry trees I see all over town with beautiful blossoms. And every now and again I go through a stage where I feel like the constant evergreen tree.

Whatever your stage, whatever your state of blooming...love yourself. You add to the beauty of life's landscape. Every season has its beauty.

2 comments:

  1. I am so glad that you posted this! Lately I have been comparing my life to my friends and family. Right now we are super poor, working crappy jobs, Marc just barely started a new major, and I don't know what I am majoring in. It is obvious that graduating, having a good job, having kids (and me being a stay-at-home mom)is pretty far in the future. But that is ok! I realize now that I just need to remember to have joy in this stage of life :)

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  2. Just a couple of weeks ago I was realizing how fast time has past me by and then I started to regret not enjoying those times as much as I could have. Especially with my Lily. I had a hard time feeling connected to her right after she was born, I loved her very much, but I felt a strange disconnect I can't really explain why. But I have since then beat myself up for not enjoying her as a baby more. Then I realized that I still wasn't focused on the moments that were happening now. So I decided that I needed to stop worrying about the past and start focusing on the now. I prayed the lord would help me to do just that and he has. I am seeing my children for who they are now, I am getting to know them better and loving everything about them, good or bad (even though it's mostly good)! I am grateful for the stage of life i am in now and for the chance to enjoy it to the fullest!

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